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Outside Magazine November 2003

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Bodywork: Snow Report 2004
I'm With Stupid
Brothers Tom (the good son) and Jerry (the bad seed) are about to join their fellow flatlanders for a zero-to-60 weekend of skiing and snowboarding at a skyscraping resort two miles above sea level. Watch as they confront the pitfalls of poor preparation, altitude sickness, dehydration, muscle fatigue, and draft beer. With this survival guide, we'll show you, with contrasting examples of smart strategies and boneheadedness, how to squeeze every inch of vertical out of trips to the high country.

By Neal Thompson

Tom (left) followed U.S. ski team trainer Topper Hagerman's advice that he mimic the feel of monster-mogul runs by adding three two-minute sprints to his thrice-weekly running or biking program. Two other days a week, he added three sets each of squats, lunges, bench presses, pull-ups, crunches, and back extensions, stretching thoroughly after each workout. Three days before his trip, he cut out the weights to rest his muscles. Jerry (right) played Grand Theft Auto instead.

Above 7,000 feet, dehydration increases, so Tom stayed off the booze, which slows acclimatization. At dinner, he packed in pasta, rice, and potatoes, along with veggies. Jerry went for the sauce.

Tom skipped Leno and turned in early. The thin air made sleep difficult, but he avoided any temptation to pop a Tylenol PM or sleeping pill; such drugs slow down a body's natural altitude adjustment. Jerry stayed out doing the cabbage patch.

While Jerry guzzled coffee and ordered all the greasy meat on the menu, Tom fueled up on carbs with multigrain cereal and toast, and protein from eggs and dairy to replenish his power. He savored an espresso, keeping it to just one.

Before the lifts opened, Tom slowly walked up and down the ski hill for 15 minutes in his hikers. He finished his warm-up with 20 slow torso rotations. Jerry plopped down to make pretty snow angels.

Illustrations by Oliver Kugler

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Neal writes for Outside magazine, Men's Health, and the Washington Post Magazine. He is currently finishing a biography of the first American in space, Alan Shepard, and is starting a second book on moonshine, bootlegging, and the early days of NASCAR. Neal lives in Asheville, NC, with his wife and two sons.

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