26. Acclimatize Like a Pro
As you gain altitude, your red blood cells can't hold as much oxygen, which means once you start getting into the thousands of feet above sea level, you may get easily winded, have a headache, and feel nauseated. Go really high—like, say, 20,000 feet and up—and your head might feel like it's going to implode, you might puke, your lungs might fill with fluid, and you might die. Eight-time Everest summiter DAVE HAHN and expedition doctor DEIRDRE GALBRAITH share some pointers on going up the right way.
(1) TAKE YOUR TIME: Nothing is proven by initial displays of physical prowess; walk at a pace that allows conversation and comfortable breathing. Your sleeping altitude shouldn't increase by more than about 1,000 feet a day; plan on active rest (like light exercise around camp) every third day.
(2) DRINK UP: It's crucial to take in plenty of fluid when the air is dry and your lungs are working overtime. Drink three liters a day; you should be peeing pale and frequently.
(3) CHOW DOWN: Appetite tends to decrease at altitude, but you've got to eat regularly to maintain strength, endurance, and warmth. A high-carb diet of 4,000 to 6,000 calories a day works best.
(4) PAY ATTENTION: If you develop symptoms of altitude sickness, take a rest day to allow your body to acclimatize. If you experience extreme symptoms, head to a lower elevation immediately.
(5) PARTY NON: Booze up top is a bad idea. It will hurt acclimatization and increase your risk of dehydration.
(6) JUST SAY MAYBE TO DRUGS: There isn't yet some magical cure for altitude sickness, but Diamox can be used responsibly and effectively. For instance, 125 mg at night before you sleep can help ease breathing and allow for more rest.
27. Reach Out Anywhere
Sometimes it takes more than a cell signal: Climbing in Europe and you want to keep up with that lass who offered to show you around Prague? You need a phone with GSM (Global System for Mobile), like Motorola's new Motorizr Z3 ($250; $99 with rebates; motorola.com). You also need Telestial's Explorer SIM Card ($59; telestial.com), with free incoming calls in 43 countries, plus just 55¢ per minute for outgoing calls.
(1) Doing business in China but need to be in e-mail and phone contact with offices in New York and Milan? You need a quad-band, GSM-enabled PDA, like BlackBerry's new 8800 ($300; shopblackberry.com), which comes with built-in GPS and an expandable 64MB memory.
(2) Sea-kayaking off Chile when an iceberg sinks your boat? You need Iridium's 9505A SATELLITE PHONE ($40 per week; allroadsat.com).
(3) Trekking to Everest Base Camp and you want to post a video on YouTube ... of that very drunk Czech making snow angels? You need the HIGH ALTITUDE PACKAGE: PDA, sat phone, camera, chargers, and cables in a durable carry-all case ($3,301; humanedgetech.com).
—MEGAN MICHELSON
28. Ride in a Peloton
Former elite road and velodrome cyclist—and now coach for hire—David Brinton (ridingtowin.com) has taught thousands of newbies and pros how to pedal in a pack. So before you roll with a club, master his list of essential skills with a couple of experienced (and forgiving) riding buddies: Keep your front wheel six inches to a foot behind the rear wheel of the rider ahead of you. FOCUS on his hips.
(1) Etiquette for passing and other movement varies from group to group, but one rule is king: Surprises are bad, so be PREDICTABLE.
(2) Only the lead rider can see potential dangers, so safety depends on COMMUNICATION, with riders calling or pointing out obstacles. Stay alert and quickly pass warnings down the line.
(3) DOWNSHIFT before red lights or you'll get dusted when it turns green.
(4) DON'T slam on the brakes, look down, space out, or overlap your front wheel with rear wheels. Ever.
—ANDREW VONTZ
BUNUS SKILL
Spit in the Pack
As peloton protocol goes, clocking the guy behind you with a loogie ties with sulfuric flatulence for the ultimate no-no. Avoid this gaffe by spitting like a pro:
(1) Lean forward slightly and bow your head to one side.
(2) Extend your arm toward the ground, palm forward.
(3) Spit in front of your arm, which will block any spray.
—ANDREW VONTZ
29. Be a Dancing King
Samba in Brazil, waltz in Austria, Bollywood in India, tango in Argentina, swing in the U.S., polka in Germany, reggae in Jamaica, hip-hop in Kenya, mambo in Cuba ... The world is your dance floor; be not afraid. Stepping on toes in five continents over the past decade, your dedicated correspondent (and Out of Bounds columnist)
ERIC HANSEN has formulated a few principles that will allow you to fake it or flaunt it. Anywhere. Let them be your passport to cavort: Your goal is—always and only—to make her look good. Usually, that means not embarrassing yourself while you LET HER DO HER THING: stomp, shimmy, spin like she's in a hair-product commercial.
(1) If you're dancing in a country that writes its name in roman letters, you can usually DEFAULT to a four-step side-to-side. Elsewhere—remote Nepal, for example—mimic the men.
(2) Clubbing? Always keep your hands above your elbows. But don't make fists; RELAX and pretend like you're holding an egg in each hand.
(3) In all partner dances besides swing, the DIP should be employed with restraint and class; at the beginning, it's dramatic; the middle, surprising; the end, glamorous.
(4) Make your partners look hot and they should increase in HOTNESS.
MY WAY
30. Prepare a Wild-Caught Rabbit for a Meal
The first thing you want to do, after catching a wild rabbit, is to calm the rabbit down. A panicked rabbit does not make for a pleasurable dining experience. It taints it. Pet the rabbit. Maybe say something soothing, like "Easy, Brownie, easy" (if the rabbit is brown) or "Easy, Gray Boy, easy" (if the rabbit is gray). You might just say, "Easy, little bunny." (But, really, can't you come up with some kind of name besides "bunny"?)
Feel the belly. It should be plump and fuzzy. But skinny is fine, too. Feel the ears. They should be soft and pink. MAN, I LOVE THE EARS.
If you like your rabbit spicy, try rubbing him with wild sage or wild mint.
Place the rabbit on a rock with good drainage. Next, take out a long, sharp butcher knife. Try not to let the rabbit see the knife. You may not want to look at the knife yourself, as some of them are kind of scary-looking.
Hold the rabbit down firmly with one hand. With the other hand, take a carrot out of your backpack. Still holding the rabbit, place the carrot on the rock and slice it with the butcher knife. Then feed the carrot pieces to the rabbit. If the rabbit doesn't eat all the pieces, feel free to eat the leftovers.
Let the rabbit go. For fun, throw the knife at a tree trunk, to see if you can make it stick, like Jim Bowie or something.
(P.S. The reason you want a rock with good drainage is in case he pees.)
Telling people how to do things is what JACK HANDEY loves best.
—JACK HANDEY
