What is the best method to use to calm a 12-year-old Afghani armed with an AK-47 who you have just startled by rounding a corner he was supposed to be guarding during your morning run? He now has the weapon leveled at your navel with the safety off and the look of revenge for the big Ferangi who just embarrased him. What I did worked (or I wouldn't be writing this), but I'm guessing you might have a different tact. Since I am soon heading back to some parts of the world where 12-year-olds are routinely armed with automatic weapons I look forward to your insight.

Thanks, Maj S.W. Ochs
USMC
snrrb@msn.com

Tim: Dear Maj,

This is becoming more common, isn't it? Frankly, I've never had quite the same experience, though I've had very young soldiers or policemen draw down on me, safety off, that kind of thing. What I do is this: The soldiers or policemen have a job to do, so help them do it. Give them the papers they want, etc. Treat them like professionals, and when the job is done, start joking, quick. Ask questions. The problems always come after the job is done, so get into the making-friends mode quickly after documents are checked.

Now, for your problem. I can only say this: It is very difficult to shoot a smiling, friendly face. As a Marine, you may have trouble pulling this one off, but I find it helps to diffuse a situation if you act very confused while you're smiling.

I'll give you an example: The late comedian, Andy Kaufman, once showed me how he foiled a mugging on the streets of New York City. The men wanted his wallet. Kaufman, who could speak in a language that didn't exist, smiled brightly, looking at the muggers with happy, confused eyes, asking them questions in that strange language. The muggers just gave up.

I don't know if this is any help. I just think it is hard to shoot a smiling, confused face.

What did you do?

N E X T   Q U E S T I O N