Looking back after Atlanta
DeAnne Hemmens

August 13
I am home now and reflecting on my Olympic experience. To most people I talk to, they say it's so great that I was there. But to me I can't help but feel a great disappointment and letdown.

I feel our coach and team leaders let us down with the organization and training program. The entire team was flat and did not really perform to our levels. Everyone--me included--raced well to 300 meters and then we died where the rest of the field pulled away. Obviously we were not trained for the finish of the race, and did not peak at all.

But with all the terrible USA performances, there were some great personal moments for me. When we paddled to the start line for the warm-up, the entire crowd in the stands (16,000) screamed and yelled "USA! USA!" It was incredible. It was the best moment and I was proud to wear USA.

Another memory is that of my stepmother, who is very ill with cancer, who sat every day in the heat and humidity to watch me fulfill a dream. This means more to me than winning. One afternoon the stands were cleared because of thunderstorms, yet my dad, husband, stepmother, mom, aunt, brother and best friend refused to leave and told the police to arrest them because they were either going to watch my race or get carried off. We raced and then they left, but it was touching that they were not leaving no matter what.

These are some of the things that I will remember of the Olympic Games. Not the races themselves, but the daily struggle of actually being in and getting to the Olympics.

Sydney 2000? Who knows.