The final grind

June 20, 1996
Well, the Olympic Trials are finally over, and so are my Olympic dreams. I finished fourth on overall points and the top three riders are going to Atlanta. One would have thought that at least I would have gotten the honor of being an alternate, but those spots were the coachs' selection. They decided to choose the seventh and fifth place finishers as the first and second alternates.

The format of our trials was especially gruelling, mentally and physically. About 120 women participated. We had five races spread over 12 days, so we had to get nervous and psyched up five times and figure out what to do with ourselves during the days we weren't racing. We also had to stay in five different places as the races were spread out over the East Coast. Two races were in West Virginia, one in Pittsburgh and two in North Carolina.

We had a team van stuffed to the gills with six riders, a mechanic, a massage therapist, 12 bikes, six bike cases, about 45 wheels, six stationary trainers, tools, a massage table, coolers and luggage for eight people. Every time we had to move it took one and a half hours to load and unload the van. I often think how much easier traveling would be if I were a swimmer or a runner!

The first race was a 20-mile time trial in Martinsberg, West Virginia. Since time trialing is pretty much my specialty, I went in with high hopes. There was a heat wave at the time and the temperature was a humid 95 degrees. I think I made the mistake of being out too long the day before the race, riding the course to familiarize myself with it, and got a little dehydrated that day.

It caught up with me about halfway through the race. I started feeling chilled, stopped sweating and I could tell my speed was dropping even though my heart rate kept going up (it was about five beats higher than when I normally race). After the finish, I had to lie on the pavement for about half an hour before I felt good enough to get myself back to the hotel.

I was shivering and had goosebumps even though it was still really hot. I finished fifth, which I knew wasn't good enough to get to Atlanta. My teammate Linda Brenneman was third, which was a really good result for her since she has never been that good at time trials. Mari Holden won, with Rebecca Twigg in second.

The second race was a 45-mile road race in Wheeling, West Virginia. The course was a loop with a small hill that we did ten times. The finish was pretty technical; about four blocks of downhill, followed by two sharp corners, and about 200 meters to the finish. To win a sprint like this, you have to be in the top three out of the last corner to have a ghost of a chance. This means you have to be in the top three out of the second-to-last corner. Imagine 60 to 100 riders racing downhill at 45 mph to get into a sharp turn first. This kind of finish is not really my forte.

The race was very fast, but still stayed together. The front group had about 60 riders at the end, down from about 120 starters. I finished seventh--again not good enough. Linda won the race and took the overall lead in points, so at least it was good race for our team.

After this we drove up to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, for a 50-mile road race. This race was also designated a National Championship road race. The course included two trips up Mt. Washington, which is a very steep, but a fairly short one-mile climb. Early in the race, a six riders broke away, including my teammate Carmen Richardson. This turned out to be the winning move, and I made a tactical mistake and missed it.

A little later, going into a turn, the lead rider took it a little too fast and crashed, taking the next rider down as well. I was in third and had a feeling they were carrying just a little too much speed. I backed off ever so slightly which gave me time to somehow get over the riders on the ground and hop the median next to me.

I ended up on the other side of the median, still upright! I kept going and yelled to the course marshals to move the barricades so I could get back on the course. I did and caught the back of the pack coming out of the next corner. Talk about a jolt of adrenaline!!

As soon as we hit the climb, both the break and the main group shattered. By this time, a light rain has started as well--not enough to make you wet, but enough to make things really slippery. There are a lot of oil slicks in downtown Pittsburgh, and with a little rain, if you hit one in a corner, you go down immediately.

We caught two riders who were dropped from the break, including Carmen, but three more from our group got away over the top of the climb, including Linda. From a team standpoint, you have to work for the strongest rider. Since Linda was the highest placed rider on our team, if she got up the road, it became my job to slow down the pack to keep her away.

On the last lap, going into the descent, I was in a group of five and the front three riders slid out right in front of me. I somehow managed to avoid them and kept going. Two of them caught us again before the finish. At the finish, I was in a group of four riders (Laura Charameda, Julie Young and Carmen Richardson) sprinting for eighth place. I was second to Laura for ninth overall. In the break, Louisa Jenkins got away on the climb, but crashed later. Dede Demet rode away from the rest and won alone.

At this point, I was in fifth place overall, and my hopes were fading. I employed every visualization and mental training technique I've ever learned to keep myself positive. I also had to keep my spirits up for the team as well. Everyone was happy about Linda's lead, and it was a very good thing for our team and our sponsors and our sponsorship for next year.

I had to hide my disappointment about my own results.

The next race was another 20-mile time trial in Concord, North Carolina. I knew this was really my last chance to redeem myself. During the race, I felt pretty good. My heart rate was where it should be and I maintained my focus. I could feel myself fading a little in the second half, but overall, I thought I had had a decent ride. Then I crossed the line and I heard the announcer say I had the third fastest time so far.

I knew that was bad news because we raced in reverse order of points and the four fastest riders were behind me. I ended up sixth, which is the lowest I've ever placed in a national-level time trial (except when I have had mechanical troubles). Mari Holden won again and Linda was third, pretty much locking up her lead.

The last race was a 63-mile road race in Boiling Springs, North Carolina. The course was a flat, 10-mile loop that was supposed to be similar to Atlanta. This was actually a very fast and exciting race.

There was a combination of riders off the front most of the race and our team was the main initiators. Our number one goal was to protect Linda's lead, and our secondary goal was to try to move me up from sixth to at least fourth overall, which we thought was the alternate position.

Late in the race, I countered a move from my teammate Elizabeth Emery, and got a gap with Linda and Jeanne Golay behind me. Jeanne then attacked me with Linda on her wheel, and I really had no choice but to sit up and open the gap between them and the field. The two of them quickly built up a solid lead and stayed away to the end. In the field sprint for third, Laura Charameda won, and I was third by about a wheel for fifth overall. Dede was tenth overall and Mari was thirty-sixth, so I did move up to fourth overall.

At that point, only Linda knew she was an Olympian. Everyone else would have to wait until the next morning at a public news conference when the other two coachs' choice spots would be named.

I think everyone expected Jeanne Golay and Allison Dunlap (second and third overall) to be selected, but you never know what the coaches are thinking. It seemed to me that it was a little cold to make the athletes wait until a public announcement to be told whether their overwhelming goal of the last four years would be met or not. All riders in the top 10 on points were supposed to go to the news conference, so I had to go and not hear my name called, even for the alternate position.

As the winner of the trials, Linda Brenneman will do both the road race and the individual time trial in Atlanta (even though she was third in both time trials). Mari Holden won both the time trials, but she will not compete because her highest road race placing was 36th. The second time trial spot will be named after the track trials trials are over.

It will very likely be Rebecca Twigg. I think the coaches do try to be fair in their selections, but their backs are up against the wall because the team is so limited and the riders have to do multiple events.

For me, the trials were a big disappointment, especially since I didn't feel I rode at my potential. I made some tactical errors in the road races and my time trials were not where they needed to be. You can ask yourself a hundred times where you went wrong. Did I train too much? Did I not do enough? Did I train the wrong way? Did I crumble under the pressure? You never really know.

I know I was overtrained for a period in April, and I also got sick a few times earlier in the season, but I don't know if that explains things or not. I also know that I have never ridden at my best in May, especially in time trials. In the last three years, I have never had a good time trial before July, even in '94 when I won the World Championships in August. This year though, none of that matters.

After the road trials, I flew up to Trexlertown, Pennsylvania, for the track trials. I was going for the 3,000-meter pursuit. I knew I was a long shot. The top two pursuiters in the country are Rebecca Twigg, who has won the World Championships six times, and Janie Quigley, who has won five medals at the World Championships.

I also didn't train much on the track this season as I knew my chances were better on the road. The first time I ever did anything on the track at all was last year. Most road races are about three to four hours long. A pursuit lasts less than four minutes. That's like asking a marathoner to all of a sudden do the 1,500-meter race.

For the Olympics, we only get one pursuiter, but for World Championships, we get three women, and that is also decided by the Olympic Trials, so that was the main reason I went. I think it was actually good to have something else to focus on to help ease the disappointment of the road trials. It was actually kind of fun being part of the Olympic Trials without all the pressure of going in as a favorite.

My first day training on the track went really well; I was turning good lap splits. Then the day before the qualifying round for the pursuit, I came down with a cold. More bad news.

I raced anyway and finished third behind Janie and Rebecca. I pretty much expected third place. I would have had to have the ride of my life, or Janie or Rebecca would have had to have a bad day for anything else. I was disappointed in my times though.

This was a fast track and I wanted to see what I could do. My best ride was a 3:50, which was a new track record for about five minutes until Janie and Rebecca went. This is my second fastest pursuit ever, but I rode a 3:47 on a much slower track last August (but that was after training on the track for 3 weeks).

I don't know how much my cold hurt me, but I know I wasn't at 100 percent. In the final, Rebecca beat Janie by 1.2 seconds and broke the track record one more time.

I get a week at home now to recover and then I go to Idaho for the two-week-long PowerBar International Women's challenge. This is a really good race and I am looking foward to it and for a chance to redeem myself. Hopefully I can still make the World Championship teams for either the track or road or both. The track World Championships are in August and road World Championships are in October.