Surviving Survivor:
Bill Vaughn's Loose Lips
Notes on Episode Eight: An enemy of my enemy is my friend.

By Bill Vaughn

Pathfinder Video

My man Rudy, the excellent 72-year-old former Navy Seal, was not amused. "I can't understand a guy talkin' to his sister that way," the ancient mariner from Virginia huffed. "It sounded like Greg was talkin' maybe incest."

Whatever it was that that Greg was talkin', he revealed for producer Mark Burnett's camera that when it came to Colleen the thing beating in his chest was not a sacre couer at all, but just a little black heart.

"You bring this little kitty along," he explained. "You have your little kitten. And you enjoy your kitten. And the kitten sleeps with you every night. And then you're hungry. And you look right in the kitten's eye and you snap its neck."

"We got to put up with this for about two more weeks," Rudy told Greg's sister on camera. "Then we might kill him. Is that doin' you a favor?"

But Klub Rudy, of course, decided it couldn't handle two more weeks of Greg.

"It's cut and dried that we eliminate somebody every time," Rudy explained, outlining the certainty that he and his Tagi tribemates -- Kelly, Richard, and Susa -- will pick off the others one at a time until only the foursome remains. "And if we don't I'll have to break somebody's kneecap or sumpin'." It had been Rudy's idea that Gretchen get the boot in the July 12 episode. "I thought she was gonna be the next leader."

Meanwhile, now that Greg is back with his sister Colleen will have to go without her nightly dose of Vitamin F -- look for her to get fatter. And speaking of fatter, it appears that the others have been putting on a little heft after weeks of getting skinnier. Maybe it's because of that pizza from Ferdinand's Restaurant I saw ferried to the island via chopper while I was spying on crew members at the Magellan Sutera Hotel. Maybe it's the recent finny harvests Richard has been bringing up from the reefs. Or maybe the cast is simply sitting down to dinner every night with the crew.

It wouldn't be the only thing about Survivor that's cooked. The immunity contests, for example, including the rope-and-carabiner race from the July 19 episode, and the treasure hunt and the relay races on earlier installments, have obviously been rehearsed. And, of course, there's nothing about the editing of what must have been thousands of hours of tape that bears any resemblance to the spontaneous. On the July 19 episode we witnessed Gervase lying around while the others work and playing cards while the others sweat. Although admittedly a charming wastrel, the man must be lifting a finger around camp once in a while. But showing that would destroy the apparent seamlessness of his sloth.

Whatever, the jungle has crowded back in on the space where this noisome American television event took place, and Borneo has returned to normal. The Malaysians gather as always in the markets and the cafes, speaking softly to one another in the Malay manner, a sound as soothing as the muttering of geese (in his collection called The Borneo Stories, Somerset Maugham wrote about the sensitivity of the Malay's temperament and how one should never raise one's voice to them).

Across the bay from the Sabah state capital of Kota Kinabalu travelers are still flocking to the five gleaming pulaus, or islands, of Tunku Abdul Rahman Park to snorkel and sail and swim among the coral reefs. And for those who want something a little scarier, something more akin to being trapped in a debris shelter with Richard, Sabah offers some big whitewater in rivers such as the Padas or the Kiulu, which come roaring down from the Crocker Range paralleling the coast of North Borneo.

Some thoughts about Malaysian food and architecture next week, and a visit to the central market in Kota Kinabalu.